Saturday, September 11, 2010

Today in Awful Warseer Tactics

Every so often I go into the Warseer Tactics forum when, for the sake of humor, I feel like seeing what the mouth breathers are having trouble with.  Would it surprise you to know that the most powerful unit in Warhammer Fantasy Battles is a horde of Empire Halberdiers with the armor piercing banner?  Me too!

Will_rain: Im sure most of you have come across empire using 60 halberds with a warrior priest and the armour peircing banner. Facing a unit that is such ludicrously good value, has anyone found reliable ways of countering it without just buying a similarly big unit of better (and more expensive) troops?

Look at this poor sap.  He got trounced by his friend’s horrible Empire army due to a large unit of Halberdiers.  Still smarting from his loss, he comes to Warseer to see if anyone has any useful advice to help him win next time.  This post is actually really enlightening.   He searched the depths of his skill and creativity and the best counter he can come up with is… a bigger, more powerful unit.  This is very indicative of the level of thinking the average Warseer person has. 

So this guy is clearly a dunce, but he deserves an honest answer to his easy question.  I’m sure the rest of the Warseer community will have some good advice for him right?  I mean, someone is going to suggest, “Cast one Purple Sun or Dwellers Below and kill half the unit” right?  Or at least, “bring some war machines and pie plate the hell out of him.”  Right?  Please?

Oglog: flank charge it, snipe kill/suicide kill the warrior preist.

I won’t be correcting the spelling errors, by the way.  So the best thing this genius can come up with is to get off a flank charge.  Hey idiot: flank charging is a counter for every unit in the game.  Suicide kill the warrior priest?  Really?  Is it even possible that is a remotely good idea?

Paraelix:  Anything that inflicts a hit on every model or requires every model to test something... Spells that drop statistics... Spells that likewise cause widespread damage (templates or stuff like Treason of Tzeentch).

Three posts in we get the right answer.  End of the thread right?  Never is it that simple on Warseer!

Aussie Socks:  Lore of Shadows. 2/3 chance to make them T1 when you cast the withering (is that the T one or the Str one?).  Nothings better than ASF Zombies carving people up because of Lore of Shadows

I don’t remember the original poster saying he played Vampire Counts.  Also, why is lowering the toughness of the unit the solution?  They are only T3 to start with, not like anyone was having trouble killing the halberdiers in combat, the problem is not getting killed back.

Ghazbad_Facestompa:  NG archers for as long as possible, followed by orc horde with characters to the face and (optimistically) trolls and a chariot or 2 to the flank.

Again, did the guy asking the questions say anything about an Orc army?  Even if he is using Orcs your advice is astonishingly bad.   In an army that can field tons of doom divers, and stone throwers, and bolt throwers, your suggestion is using Night Goblin archery and a flank charge by Trolls?  Good lord, no wonder people say Orcs and Goblins are weak in 8th when the best tactical minds for the army are this advanced.

Russellmoo:  Any large unit with multiple attacks.

Brilliant!  Why didn’t I think of bringing a slightly better unit to counter his unit?!

Korraz:  Kill it with WARPFIRE!throwers.

Kill yourself with warpfire throwers.

Empire – Ulric:  Speed, mobility and flanks are the best way to defeat Empire. Get on him before he has a change to decimate your units with ranged firepower. Fight on your terms and hit those flanks if you can. Any Empire unit is pretty much easy meat if you get a high attack output unit into their flank.

Another genius suggesting flank charges to the original poster.  I think everyone who plays the game ALREADY KNOWS THAT FLANK CHARGING YOUR OPPONENT IS A GOOD THING! 

GWexpat:  I don't think I've ever flanked an Empire unit in many years of playing.

That means you’re terribad and you shouldn’t be giving anyone advice ever.

_dandaman_: Shoot it with a hellcannon, hard to miss a unit that big

Assuming he plays Warriors of Chaos that is great advice.  Otherwise your advice is worse than “flank charge it.” 
The thread continues on for 3 pages.  It took 3 pages to settle a question that was satisfactorily answered in the 3rd post.   OK, I have to go, I’m going to playtest this strange new tactic of “flanking my opponent’s units.”  I’ve never tried such a thing.  I’ll report back!

1 comment:

  1. Man forums make my brain hurt. I stopped going to them for advice a long time ago. Especially warseer. Their site hurts my eyes- seriously, it's crazy hard to read.