Today in Awful Wareer Tactics Part 19

It's been a while since I've done one of these and I know you guys enjoy them, so I sacrificed my own sanity to delve into the metaphorical muck of Warseer's forums to bring you another episode of people asking stupid questions, getting even stupider answers, and me making fun of them.  This entry deals with a guy who plays Dark Elves but loses all the time.  His spelling and grammar are atrocious, so perhaps it's an intelligence issue.  Or perhaps not.  Let's see, my comments are as always, in orange.

Bleekeboy: Hi guy's,


I playing dark elves, and need some help.
The most of the times i play agains is skaven and beastmen, but somehow i lose al the time.
i could use some nasty tactics to beat them .


I got alomst every model.

So the obvious thing to do is ask him what kinds of lists he runs.  Any major flaws (not enough magic, not enough Hydra, too many Executioners etc.) could be pointed out and we could send him on his way.  Let's see what we get from the scum of the internet...

Joeman169: What units are you taking? I like 30 or so executions with banner of the hag graef, and a 35+ horde of corsairs to match. 1 cauldron to give ward save where needed, little bit of magic, sprinkle in some repeating crossbows for added effect and you should more often than not vs those 2 arrmies.

Yes, he should definitely run 30 of a horrible unit lead by a horrible character, supported by a horrible core choice.  And good call advising someone playing one of the best magic armies in the game to bring "a little bit of magic."

Tamarichards: A Fire level 2, who can also carry your Dispel Scroll, will make fairly short work of abombs and will also add a good bit to all-round lists.

Really.  The best thing you can think to do to kill abominations is bringing a 170 point character who serves almost no other purpose?  And you claim that this kind of blatant tailoring qualifies as an "all-round" list choice?  For shame!

Oberst: for which size?? 3000 points? In 2000 I use to take 15 cold one with a noble an the banner of hydra and just a lvl 4 often shadow or black, sometimes death.

Thanks for telling us about your garbage Cold One Knight deathstar.

Symrivven: Dark riders are nice, but practically everything they can do shades can do better.

Yeah I love doing feigned retreats with my Shades completely cock blocking someone's deathstar.  dot dot dot.

Zabousta: I have to say I am surprised that everyone is suggesting Executioners for a fight against Skaven. Since his opponent till have little armor and T3 throughout most of his army, Witch Elves are a much better option.

Decent advice, except this is really taking list tailoring to a new level since Witch Elves aren't exactly awesome vs. all comers.  Wouldn't Corsairs be better?

Don Zeko: I wouldn't recommend taking assassins in a competitive list in 8th edition. They're far too expensive for what you get.

Finally someone posts something intelligent!  Thanks to you, I get to stop.

Well that challenged my sanity.  I hope you enjoyed, because I did not.